Manufacturing Information Solutions

[JoeM]

CORPORATE LESSON 1

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower
when the doorbell rings. After a few seconds of arguing over
which one should go and answer the doorbell, the wife gives up, quickly
wraps herself up in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the
door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbour. Before she says a word, Bob
says "I'll give you 800 dollars to drop that towel that you
have on." After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands
naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her 800
dollars and leaves. Confused, but excited about her good fortune, the woman
wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets
back to the bathroom,her husband asks from the shower "Who was that?" "It
was Bob the next door neighbour" she replies.
Great, the husband says, "Did he say anything about the 800 dollars he owes
me?"

Moral Of The Story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit
and risk in time with your stakeholders, you may be in a position to prevent
avoidable exposure.

CORPORATE LESSON 2

A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road, he stopped
and offered her a lift which she accepted. She got in and
crossed her legs, forcing her gown to open and reveal a lovely leg.The
priest had a look and nearly had an accident. After controlling the
car,he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun looked at him and
immediately said, "Father, remember psalm 129?" The priest was
flustered and apologized profusely. He forced himself to remove his hand,
however he was unable to remove his eyes from her leg. Further
on while changing gear, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once
again said, "Father, remember psalm 129?" Once again the priest
apologized. "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the ! convent,
the nun got out gave him a meaningful glance and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to retrieve a bible and
looked up psalm 129. It Said, Go forth and seek, further up, you will find
glory.

Moral Of The Story: Always be well informed in your job, or you might miss a
great opportunity!

CORPORATE LESSON 3

A sales rep, an administration clerk and the manager are walking to lunch
when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes
out in a puff of smoke. The Genie says, I usually only grant three wishes,
so I'll give each of you just one. "Me first! Me first!" says
the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without
a care in the world." *Poof!*She's gone. In astonishment "Me
next! Me next!" says the sales rep. I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the
beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of pina-coladas
and the love of my life. *Poof!* He's gone. "OK, you're up" the Genie says
to the manager. The manager says "I want those two back in the office after
lunch."

Moral Of The Story: Always let your boss have the first say.